I’m not sure what compels me to write this right now but here it goes… I remember my parents telling me that I was a fussy baby. I was one of those who had endless crying fits for no apparent reason. I was also their first child, so my mom was at loss about what to do. She then turned to food. Whenever I would cry, she would feed me which effectively “shut me up.”lol Anyways ever since then and for as long as I can remember when I was in grade school, I was FAT and FOOD was always there for me. See, I grew up in a society where people say what they please regardless if they hurt someone. I guess you could call that, frank. But anyways I’ve been teased about my weight by my aunts, uncles, friends, schoolmates, siblings, cousins, and even strangers. Always I brushed it off. I even told my parents that I am happy with myself, I will be fat and eat what I want forever. I stood by myself (even though deep down I really was an unhappy child).
Then I moved to the U.S. and believe it or not I became BIGGER. By middle school, I was depressed and self-conscious that I alienated anyone who could potentially be my friend. Also, I was completely engrossed in EDs. I’m not sure what it was but I loved reading pro-ana and pro-mia, in my mind wishing I had an ED. I might have tried for a couple of days, but one thing I didn’t have back then was discipline and control about food which in that perspective was good? (One reason for this might have been a mix of my mom’s weird habit of picking on her food and not eating, later she told me she had a form of ED when she was younger, and my dad always binging on food)
Anyways, by 8th grade I finally got accustomed to the new culture and made a few friends (mostly boys) which got me into basketball. So I played basketball with them every lunch time. This may have also triggered me to be healthier because I wanted to impress these boys. (hormones.lol) By the end of summer before high school, I was actively playing basketball and tennis. I lost tremendous amount of weight in that summer. Mostly drinking lots of water before meals, eating moderately and SPORTS. After that never again did I want to feel myself get lost in all that food and FAT. Anyways high school was filled with tennis and track&field.
College was another hurdle. My first year I did prove the freshman-15 right. In fact it might have even been freshman-20. Anyways by sophomore year, I was again active and went to the gym religiously. I then got into Insanity last summer with friends (a lot of pain but enjoyed the hard work) and now I’m still striving. I just feel so much better after a good old workout session. :)
